In the long journey back to the heart of my wife’s love, there will certainly be some stumbling on my part. After all, I am an inherently selfish, flawed person. The good news: so is everybody else— so I don’t have to succumb to hopelessness and self loathing. Even more, I have faith that God will help me in my transformation from bad husband to good husband.* I’ve read He’s very keen on the idea of marriage.
As I concluded in the last post (sorry for the obvious cliff hanger, but I couldn’t resist), things were all set for my wife’s homecoming…and then I messed up. To give you a quick summary of what happened (as I’m sure you’re needed elsewhere), I was all ready for her to arrive when the phone rang. It was my beloved. She was feeling refreshed, happy and thankful for the time spent at the retreat center. I, on the other hand, was a little moody. Scratch that. I was VERY MOODY with a dense, black cloud following my very mindset as if attached by a string. My children, God bless them, were not simply on my last nerve, but pulverizing it with what felt like a combination jackhammer/meat cleaver. In short, I desperately wanted relief from my parental duties. When I answered the call from my wife, she informed me she was just then departing for home. I had been expecting her to come rolling in at any minute. I had forgotten she was staying through the lunch hour. She heard the obvious disappointment in my voice and things went downhill from there. In sum, I made her feel guilty for taking a much needed leave and she cried all the way home.
So there it is. That’s precisely the way I do NOT wish to behave. That’s exactly the type of jerk I do NOT want to be. But, that’s what happened.
Thankfully, my wife and I are able to communicate. We rarely let anything fester for more than an hour or so before we talk it out. And after several conversations that day, things between us were much better. I am truly grateful to God for giving me a wife with such a forgiving spirit. Her heart is a beautiful, delicate jewel that I should handle as tenderly as a glass snowflake. With God’s help, I will guard it like the priceless treasure it truly is.
Next up: Mother’s Day!
*Actually, He gets 100% of the credit for any progress, but that’s a theological discussion we can approach later.
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