4 Steps

When I last posted, we had come off a successful Mother’s Day and I was looking ahead, keeping my mind open for fresh ideas.* I now have a few things in the works that I’m excited about. We’ll get to them later. As for the present, I am happy to report that this week is going well. My wife has been smiling with a much greater frequency and her overall mood seems to be pointing in a cheery, amorous direction. These are positive changes, worthy of note. For my part, I have been striving to follow four simple rules that I believe are keeping me on the right path. They are (in no particular order):

1. Be her friend.
2. Let her be.
3. Shut up and smile.
4. Trust God.

Being her friend is of utmost importance. More than ever, she needs me to be there for her without any strings attached. That means listening, helping out, offering encouragement, being supportive and not acting like an overbearing husband.

Letting her be is all about space. This rule helps me to focus on patience and self control. I need to put aside my needs and wants so she can feel safe to come out of her shell. If she desires a hug, kiss or cuddle, she’ll let me know. The key is to back off and let her initiate.

I should tattoo the third directive on my arm. I can’t number the occasions I’ve ruined a wonderful moment with an untimely question or inappropriate comment. I’m not saying you shouldn’t communicate. But you don’t call a time-out during a no-hitter to remind your pitcher that he has almost finished a perfect game. Overanalyzing or over-thinking a situation is a surefire step to shooting a beautiful evening in the foot.

Last but not least, there’s trusting God. This one is paramount. I’ve said before, God is more than willing to help me with my marriage— and boy, do I ever need His help! As I endeavor to win back the love of my wife, I’m depending on Him to change me from the inside, so that my new insights and behaviors toward my beloved become more permanent. In addition, I can lean on Him and trust in His timing when things don’t seem to be progressing at the rate I would prefer.

So far, so good.


* Wife Wooing Maxim # 27: If you sit back and coast on your latest success, you will lose romantic momentum.